Our Ugly House


Fussy Feelings

Curtis and I have been shopping for tile non stop without finding anything that fits into the venn diagram between love and afford. We had this vision of dark, almost black herringbone tile in the kitchen. This morning we went to Home Depot and found this tile we both agreed on. It was way different than our original concept, but it was cheap and it was weird; it seemed perfectly our style. We loaded up 700 pounds into the Subaru just as is started to hail (dear mother nature, you are a real jerk). After lugging our tile into our house, I took a wine/friend break for a few hours. When I got home I was fueled by booze to make things happen… and the first step was to remove everything from the semi done kitchen so I could rage tear out the linoleum. At some point I asked Curtis for more beer, and when he left shit got real.

There is something that happens to me when I start doing something labor intensive. It’s a gut reaction that completely takes over and I hulk out. I get really mad, and swear and act like a total nut. I was sweating, and yelling, and seriously tearing the floor up like a crazy person. I had a million splinters, but it was amazing. Curtis got home and I felt like I had been on vacation. Doing hardcore damage is pretty therapeutic… or maybe I am insane.



This is my “I am a badass, and also have so many splinters” face.IMG_2364

We hauled our trash out to the carport and started a dry run on our herringbone pattern. It’s dreamy, and I love it.IMG_2375


I must sleep now.

Hunger Games

The last few weeks have been less project oriented and more get our sh*t out of boxes so we can live a semi normal life again. Originally the misplaced necessities led to an ultra fun game titled: “Have you seen my this, do you know where my this is, please for the love of all things holy help me find this?” (That was dripping with sarcasm). After living out of boxes and eating take out nightly, we decided to take a tiny break on the updates and just get things slightly settled. We also cleared the carport of shag carpet and demo debris. So much fun. Really. (I am lying).





Another insane thing to note: I got married about 2 months ago, and bought a house about 1 1/2 months ago, and I understand those are both very adult things. But do you know what is more adult!? Do you???? I will tell you. Buying brand new, grown up as bleep APPLIANCES! Shiny, stainless steel, never been used by some shady craigslist character appliances. The Home Depot Black Friday sale started last week and the deals are like, crazy. I demanded Curtis and I go in and buy every last thing we could fit into our new kitchen. In my haste I forgot the important detail of getting the floor finished in the kitchen before we lug in a bajillion pounds of baller cooking status equipment. That means between now and the weekend before Thanksgiving we need to procure tile, cute tile, and lay tile.

Just like that we are back in the Hunger Games of kitchen remodeling. (See what I did there? Hunger Games? Kitchen? I am just a kick).


Those floors though

It’s 6:30am and I am standing in Portland airport Starbucks line silently debating if they will judge my potential order of two large coffees, a sausage breakfast sando, and maybe like, two cream cheese breakfast pastries. I’m bloody exhausted from working on the house until midnight last night. Buying a house was on the goals list, so don’t mistake my total lack of current enthusiasm for me not be totally stoked to be a home owner. The truth is I just didn’t realize it would be so much hard work. I would look on Pinterest and see a million DIY’s that seemed so easy… and do it yourself-able. And then you do them, and you live in a house full of sheet rock dust, and stain fumes, and sometimes you fight with your husband over things like which paint color to go with. “White Shoulders” or “Luna Moon”. (Also, who the F names paint? “Luna Moon”??? Doesn’t that just basically mean “Moon Moon”?!?) …. and then you get tired. OK I AM TIRED AND IT IS HARD, GET OFF MY BACK!!! I am going to chug a couple coffees. In the mean time look at all the pretty here:

IMG_2174The wall came down… Goodbye wall, we don’t need you anymore. And all that lovely brown junk? Peel and stick carpet residue. How do you get it off? Scrape until you can’t feel your fingers… It’s awesome!

IMG_2973Fingers = numb


IMG_2203Ok, it sucked to scrape off… but damn son. Look at that floor!





One weekend down

We had our first full weekend of house work, and homey don’t play…. we got some serious stuff done. We have a week to do some of the big work before we need to move from our rental house into the new house. I like to set lofty, totally unattainable goals for myself because I like grey hair (it’s in style, right?).

This weekend we finished painting all the walls in the living room/dining room, minus the ceiling and wood paneling, both of which need a final coat and they will be finished. I have some amazing friends who came out and gifted their time and labor to help make that shiz a reality. I opted for a black accent wall that turned out pretty sexy… I love the dark color. Note my incredibly safe and high tech ladder! Seriously kids, don’t try this at home.



The walls went from mint green, and forest green floral wall paper to a perfect shade of white. “White Shoulders” to be exact was the paint color (sounds like dandruff shampoo to me). Then the demo began. Down came the wall separating the living room from the kitchen. Hello open floor plan!! Also, I have amazing parents. You will be seeing a lot of them around these parts. How cute are my dad and Curtis, tearing down walls!? Oh, and we exposed the old furnace brick chimney in the kitchen. Meow!






Next steps:

– Finish painting ceilings.
– Crawl around on my hands and knees and remove every damn staple holding down the miles of carpet pad.
– Scrape glued carpet pad.
– Drink
– Hang curtains or bed sheet to hide from creepy neighbor!




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